Mixed emotions…

It’s been a hectic week but I’m coming to the conclusions that hectic is the norm so I’d better adjust.  I work monday through friday and every day after work I’ve had something that’s kept me out later than I would have liked –

  •  Monday I was helping my BIL fill out his fafsa so he can go back to school (proud of anyone who takes that challenge on)
  •  Tuesday & Wednesday I have class an hour away until 9:30pm
  •  Thursday night my Aunt was in town from California so we took the boys and went to dinner – got the boys home at 9:45 which is WAY too late seeing as how we had to get up at 6:00 am to get to school on time
  •  Tonight, Friday, after work, went to see my son practice at swim team, stopped by the store for a few little things before being able to pick the boys up from their dads, came home, made dinner and am procrastinating the cleaning I REALLY should be doing.

In the midst of all of that, I have already done 2 days of cardio and strength training and have only one more to fit in before the week is up and that is slated for Sunday.  I’m pretty proud of myself for sticking with the whole healthier lifestyle changes I’ve been making.  I even ate healthy all week (except for Thursday when I ate way too much at the office potluck and then went out to dinner, but hey, nobody is perfect and I’ve moved on past that)

This weekend is shaping up to be almost as hectic.  Tomorrow Connor (my 10 yr old) has swim practice from 8-10 am and then we have to go at 1:00 to pick up his triathlon packet for the Colin’s Hope Jr. Triathlon and you can read more about Colin’s story here.  C has done about 3 other Jr Tris and honestly I couldn’t be more proud.  I love that he’s found something he loves and seems to really enjoy doing these.  He’s not as competitive as some of the other kids in the race, and to be honest, that makes me proud too.  He truly does it for the love of the race.

As proud as I am of him and his efforts, there’s a part of me that is also extremely embarrassed.  Embarrassed that I’ve never been an athlete…I’ve never worked out for the fun of it…I have NO CLUE how to help him train…(luckily, his dad has stepped in on this front so I’m not damaging my son any more than any other red-blooded American mom)…and am terribly out of shape.  There’s NO WAY I could do a triathlon and yet here’s my offspring doing all the things I can’t.

I have an internal battle every time I need to work out …and sometimes sit in the parking lot for a good 10 minutes psyching myself up when I get to the gym to actual walk through those doors…but I do it.  I even think sometimes that I’d like to be a runner…crazy I know.  I started the couch to 5K about a year ago and quit after the 2nd day of the 3rd week because it was too much… I quit… again…I keep saying that when I lose 20 lbs. I’ll try again, but I also think that may just be another excuse.  Only time will tell but for now, I’m left with mixed emotions.



  1. My week has been pretty hectic too, so I understand what you mean. My older two started bowling back up and my youngest decided to play an extra fall baseball season. Don’t give up on yourself. Keep trying for the things that you truly want. You’ll get there when the time is right.

    I am extremely proud of my children when they tackle things I am unable to. It lets me know that I have done my job to encourage them along.

    Thanks for sharing.

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