True Colors

This morning, I woke up mostly well rested and feeling adored after an amazing weekend.  I PLANNED to bore ya’ll with more “isn’t life grand” and “isn’t he the greatest” stuff.

Because it is.  And he is.

But you see, something happened last night to throw all that off.  No – not THAT.  Focus people.

***Disclaimer*** I’m about to rant.  I may have opinions different than yours.  I may drop an f-bomb or two.  There will be biblical references.  You’ve been warned.


I got a message from someone I consider a friend via Facebook.  Granted, outside of the occasional flirt or discussion about wine, we haven’t even seen each other since we graduated… maybe at the last reunion?  BUT – She’s the kind of person who is kind and loving and a friend.  Someone who is as equally interested in your world as she is her own.  Someone I would like to actually make an effort to hang out with on a more regular basis because she’s just cool.  She’s what I would call “good people.”

What she shared last night was something that was shared between two people we went to high school with via Facebook.  I didn’t see this on my own because I’m not Facebook friends with either of the people involved (and I was a bit distracted with sharing my favorite movie with the Wooer) but one is a person who I willingly admit is 2 gallons of crazy in a 1 gallon jug and ain’t nobody got time for that.  I really don’t need anyone else’s crazy because we all know I have PLENTY to keep me busy. (I have a feeling that most of you are smiling and nodding at that)

The other person…was someone I had shared my life with.  Someone I had a lot of respect for.  Someone I truly cared for and loved once upon a time.  And reading words that were filled with hate and ignorance, my heart broke a little.  More than a little.  More than the night that he shared that he had not been faithful since the day we married and not just one night here and there but long lasting relationships with other married women.  It broke more than the night he moved out and I laid there in my utterly empty house feeling unlovable because he used my past against me to make me doubt what I had known all along.  It broke more than the moment I had to face all of the areas where I had also failed the marriage. When you see someone for the person they truly are… after you’ve believed something else… it’s sad.

Let me be very clear – as if I know any other way – When you cloak your bigoted, ignorant opinions in a shield of some other moral ground – honesty, religion, whatever – you are still an ignorant bigot.

Even writing those words hurts.  I want to see the good in everyone.  I want people all over to be kind to one another.  Tolerant of our differences.  Respectful… I WANT to see people this way… and yet, when something like this happens, I’m forced to see ugliness that makes my heart hurt.

What was said was something likening homosexuality to pedophilia and bestiality.

Are you fucking kidding me? How is  a loving relationship between two consenting adults the same as one between an adult and a child… or goat for that matter.  TWO CONSENTING ADULTS.

Since we are on a soapbox… and by we I mean me… Let me say this.  I believe in Love.  Love that is patient and kind.  Love that is pure and honest and good.  Period.

I believe in a higher power that is also Love. You can call it God or the Universe or Allah.  He/She Doesn’t Make Mistakes.  We are all perfect exactly as we are.  Faults and all.

I believe that homosexuality is not a choice and can’t be “prayed away” any more than I chose to be attracted to men. And if it were a choice, considering all of the bigoted assholes out there, why would anyone chose to be judged, attacked, hated, treated with such vile bigotry…

I also know that people judge what is different.  What is unfamiliar.  What they don’t understand.  What scares them.

I know that Bible verses were tossed around and I have a hard time reconciling how on the one hand we are picking and choosing what we want to believe from the Good Book and yet, on the other hand, I’m surprised that there aren’t more public stonings.

If we’re going to start spewing Bible verses – can we focus all of our energy on this one:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Or what about this one:

Mark 12:31

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Or perhaps this one:

Matthew 7:1-5

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I’m sure that if the persons involved are reading this, I’ve offended them.  It wouldn’t be the first and won’t be the last.  And you know what?  I don’t give a rat’s ass.  This is my space.  This is my site.  I pay to have the freedom to speak my mind.  and if we’re being completely honest, I’m offended.  I will never sit idly by and watch a bully and NOT say something.

As I lay there last night with my mind racing through all of the conflicting thoughts I had about the people involved and what I once believed to be true, I was probably remarkable quiet.  It didn’t go unnoticed and when asked by the Wooer, I couldn’t even put into words what I was thinking and left it at “my mind is racing.”

Without asking or prying or judging, he proceeded to tell me stories and share his life with me until my mind was once again quiet and I was able to sleep.  A deep and peaceful sleep where I was again reminded that people are good and kind.  People can embrace differences.  Not everyone judges.   A sleep where I felt safe and adored instead of second guessing all that I once “knew”.  I don’t know that he realized how much of an impact that made… I don’t even remember if I thanked him.  I should remedy that.

This morning, I woke up and started thinking about the people that ARE in my life.  I was hard pressed to think of one person who doesn’t make me and others feel loved and safe.  My friends – the ones I share my world with and would give the shirt off my back for.  The ones who have always been there not to point out “what a bitch I was in high school” but the ones who truly care about me the way I care about them.  The ones who are lining up to have my back should a moment present itself.  The ones who can hang out in a coffee shop for HOURS with me and have a conversation that never dies.  The ones I can call just because something horrible or exciting happened and either way they listen with rapt attention even if there is a toddler crawling on them.

These are the people who make me a better person.  These are the people I’m honored to call friends.  These are the people who I’m glad to share my life with.


{You didn’t really think I was going to write a whole post without a little gushing did you?  If so, you must be new here}







  1. Walter Perry says

    It’s unfortunate when people turn out to be such utter pieces of shit. Yes I’m judging them because when you are that hateful to a group of people you don’t know, you forfeit your right to not be judged. If anybody reading this knows the offending dick bags, feel free to pass it on that I said it. Now while I find it unfortunate, I also thinks it’s awesome that they said it. People outing themselves as such horrible cock stains is beneficial to all. (See what I did there? Using a term associated with gay people letting the world know they are who they are and don’t want to feel ashamed anymore? Yeah, if they could read this, they are so terrified of somebody thinking they might be gay that a little shiver would shoot up their spine to hear somebody say they outed them self.) So by all means shoot your mouth off. Say the hateful things in your heart. Leave us all with no illusions about what kind of person you are at your core. You did us a favor. You really did. So why don’t the two of you jump in your douche canoe and paddle yourselves out to a nice deserted island where you can misinterpret scripture to each other and read chapters out loud to each other from Pat Robertson’s latest book. I realize it’s hateful of me to say all of this but for fucks sake enough is enough with people like that. You are bringing us down as a species. You are making the world a darker, uglier, more dangerous place. Stop it.

    And to one of the offending parties, if it was simply a choice for women to be gay, you would be responsible for a considerable number of women changing team. Stories of your behavior would be enough to sway the decision making process. I’m glad women sleep with us men despite people like you. We have enough working against us as is. We’re hairy and we smell bad. People like you have the stench of a rotting soul. Good luck with making a happy life for yourself.

    Okay. I’m done. I might be a bad person for voicing all of this but I’m outing myself as someone who feels this way. People can judge my words as they see fit. I feel they are true and valid.

  2. BOOM. this. I once got into a fight with a Catholic priest about this issue. I know, I know… there was no winning that one. He was a friend since grade school and I didn’t see him Father but the kid I knew for years. We were clearly on different sides of the issue but when he wouldn’t just drop it and accept we weren’t going to see eye to eye, I sadly had to ban him from FB. Here’s the short post where I just had to blog about my feelings.

  3. People can be so small minded and petty. It’s sad, really, how much time and effort they put into something that doesn’t have anything to do with them or their own life.

    • I often wonder if it helps them to feel better about themselves. I only feel better about myself when I’m being helpful.

  4. I’m not even kidding, the big kids and I were just talking about this. About how people say that about LGBT people and their rights to marry or how people think that someone who is gay is attracted to everyone that is the same sex as them. Just like a straight person has likes and dislikes about people so do gay people. Ugh Thankfully, children are being raised to love a person for who they are and to be friends with them and support them in all their choices.

    • I’m raising mine that way. Hopefully we can continue to teach tolerance for our differences. I can’t imagine being treated differently for having brown eyes any more than I can justify judging someone for who they love. All I see is the love. And that is beautiful.

  5. It’s sad, really, that people can hate love. How pathetic must their own lives be to even give a shit what somebody else is doing in the bedroom? Oy.

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