Thankful

When the world says, “Give up,”
Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
~Author Unknown

Enough.  Enough of the woe is me posts.  Enough of me dwelling on the negatives that have happened over the last few months.  Enough of me wallowing in a pool of self-pity.  Enough of me believeing the voices in my head… and the negative voices outside my head telling me how to think, act, believe, feel.  ENOUGH.  I’m back.  I’ve said that before, but now I feel it to the core of my being.  No more seeing the dark clouds, it’s time to see the silver lining that I’ve always prided myself on finding.

This weekend was an amazing opportunity to practice.  We went camping.  (and for those that don’t know, I camp with a trailer… running water… electricity – not tents) My parents, some dear family friends, my boys.  That’s it.  Getting there was… an adventure.  Car trouble about 10 minutes in and a blow out 20 minutes from the campsite.  YIKES.  But, my Dad was right behind and I swear he is AMAZING.  The man is like McGuyver.  He can fix ANYTHING…and does.  And as for the tire… there was no fixing that, but he and mom helped me get the 4 new tires I’ve needed for the last 6+ months anyway… and (this may shock those of you who know me) I DID NOT change my own flat.  I stepped back and let the men take care of me.

Yes, I CAN change my own tire and have done that (and more) more times that I wanna count.  But learning to rely on others is much harder.  I don’t like to admit that I’m not super-mom.  I like to be the one who “fixes” everything…and this weekend I was reminded that it is ok to lean on others because when we lean on others, that’s when we find our true strength.  The rest of the weekend was un-eventful perfection.  I put down my phone as much as possible, and just enjoyed being with my family.  My boys are growing up and I was reminded of that this weekend too.  The oldest is such a great helper and is definitely becoming quite the gentleman.  He brings amazing joy as I watch him step in to help without being asked whether it’s helping me back up with the trailer, attaching the hitch, or helping get dinner set up on the picnic tables.  Both boys amazed me as they finished their dinner and began clearing away the dishes of the adults.  My youngest has already mastered the art of letting others care for him (lol) but was always ready to bring a smile and make others laugh.  You have to understand that we go to the same camping spot every year – it’s tradition – and yet every year I see it through new eyes as the boys explore and discover.  This weekend I was happy.  and then it hit me.  I was seeing the silver lining.  I didn’t notice the cold wet rain… I noticed the time I got to snuggle a bit longer with my babies as we watched a movie and listened to the storm.  I didn’t notice the storm woke me up at 2:00am… I noticed the youngest crawl into bed to find comfort when he needed it.  I didn’t notice the mud that they tracked in to the trailer, I noticed how my boys were out there helping be the go-between between the three trailers and yes, being boys, got a little muddy.  It reminded me that it’s time to get back to finding the silver lining. THAT’S what makes me happiest.

I also realized that I’ve been beating myself up more than I should – when I don’t get in enough fitness…when the laundry piles up… when the dishes aren’t done.  which is cyclical… I get down on myself, then don’t do anything and then get down on myself again… see a pattern?  So to see today’s Mamavation Monday topic, I felt like it was meant to be…

What are you thankful for in your life?

See what I mean? Kismet…. so, what am I thankful for?

I’m thankful for my true dear friends – the ones who know exactly what to say to talk me off the ledge and support me without knowing it…they know who they are

I’m thankful for my strength that I didn’t know existed last year

I’m thankful for my home that is filled with memories – good and bad… and both are what make me who I am today.

I’m thankful for my body because while it may not look the way others think it should, it’s a work of art in progress and gets me from point a to point b. It is healthier than last year and years passed, and works amazingly well considering the amount of abuse I’ve put it through

I’m thankful for heartbreak because it reminds me that I have the capacity to love another wholly and no amount of pain would make me want to change that

I’m thankful for my stubbornness – amazingly enough it gets me out of more than I can say because I don’t know how to give up.

I’m thankful for my father who again can fix A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and sometimes even teaches me how.

I’m thankful for muddy footprints because it means that my kids are outside playing in the rain instead of tied to the TV or video games.

I’m thankful for my scale that reminds me in no uncertain terms that it’s time to get back on track.

I’m thankful for morning traffic because it gives me time to think.

and last but not least, I’m thankful for Mamavation where every day I surround myself with amazing, remarkable, inspiring people who remind me that every moment of every day I’m faced with a choice to make each moment spectacular.

What are you thankful for?

This post is sponsored by Belly Beautiful Postnatal Fitness and Busy Mom Workout and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention &weight loss for women