Mawwiage… is what brings us together

I normally shy away from the political stuff here. I prefer to keep things light and fun… except when I get really deep about my own stuff but that’s not really the point I’m trying to make. I like happy and today was filled with happy all over my rainbow hued facebook stream. People from all walks of life celebrating today’s Supreme Court decision finally making same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states. Straight people, gay people, religious people, atheists, men, women, rich and poor, the idea of marriage equality for all binds so many of us together.

But then there are the posts and statements that are fueled by hate. Those who hide their bigotry and fear and ignorance behind their religion or upbringing or some other ignorant ideal.

And this isn’t a victory for Love although that’s a nice idea. I mean I too am a romantic at heart and I love the stories about these long standing relationships that have been committed for YEARS and finally are able to express their love in a real and profound way. A way that has eluded me twice now and my heart overflows with joy for these people and their celebrations. Even still, this is NOT about Love. This is about freedom and the government realizing that it really has no place to tell us who we can and can’t love or marry.  {I mean come on – if the government was going to tell us who we can or can’t marry, can I sue them for allowing me to marry poorly TWICE?  I mean if the lady can sue McDonald’s for her hot coffee, I think I might have a case here… }

Remember that little thing that was part of our original founding? The idea of Separation of Church and State? Yeah, well, I kinda think that’s a good idea. Because the truth is, I don’t care what you do or do not believe as long as you are not causing harm or infringing on my ability to believe or not believe. THAT’S religious freedom at its core right?

So for all those who are spouting hate in the name of religion –  Houston, we have a problem.

Take for example the governor of Texas – a state I’m usually quite proud of – but then he tweets earlier today:

and ok, I can appreciate that marriage is a religious ceremony and when you are literal, I might even agree with that sentence.  EXCEPT.  When we allowed the government to step in and reward certain individuals with rights and benefits based solely on the fact that they had a piece of paper signifying that they were married, we allowed the government to redefine marriage FOR us.  

So, if we make marriage a purely religious ceremony, I’m down with that.  And then it would be up to the churches to determine who does and does not have the ability to marry based on their guidelines and criteria, right? I’m good with that too.  On one condition.

All those rights and benefits granted to those who are married?  They have to go away.  For everyone.  And you know what?  That would really suck.

I mean you don’t get to have it both ways.  Either we ALL get the benefits that marriage brings if we are wed or the federal government has absolutely no business granting ANYONE special rights and privileges based on their relationship status.  {Unless of course the government wants to provide a lifetime supply of chocolate and wine to anyone in an “it’s complicated” relationship status because that I might get behind.} 

So, yes, all of those amazing couples that flooded the government buildings today procuring their marriage licenses and planning their futures fill my heart with joy to a point where it overflows with happy.  I cheer for you.  I celebrate with you.  Not because Love wins – I believe love ALWAYS wins – but because freedom and equality wins.  And that’s just one more step towards every human being being treated the same.  Because our government should be objective and not dole out rights and benefits to the “cool kids” but to everyone.  

Now I also wonder… how many relationships are now doomed.  I mean I can’t believe that gays are straights are all that different because we are all just people – we are all flawed and fucked up people trying to make things work, right?  And whether gay or straight, I’d bet there are more than a few people who are sitting in a bar right now afraid to go home because once upon a time in a drunken stupor, they told their partner that they would marry them if only they could but alas the big bad government won’t let them… or the guy that convinced his gal that they shouldn’t marry until ALL PEOPLE could get married and now… now they are scared to go home because now they have to come up with another reason why they can’t venture down the aisle together.  And while things like “I’m afraid of commitment” and “you’re Mr/Ms ‘right now’ but never were Mr/Ms ‘right’…” or even “I’m really comfortable with what we have until something better comes along” might be wildly accurate and honest, that’s not exactly what their partner is going to want to hear.  Thousands of men and women having to face the idea that even with marriage legal, it may not be in the cards for them because when given the opportunity to shit or get off the pot, their respective partner has a troubling case of constipation.  

And maybe that is enough for some and maybe it’s not for others. And you know what?  Now people can decide what is or is not enough for them because the government isn’t treating them like they somehow have less rights simply because of who they love.  And let’s be REALLY honest here… no one chooses who they fall in love with.  I could have saved much heartache if I could have chosen but the heart is a stupid and fickle bitch that does stupid shit without consulting our brains sometimes.
At the end of the day though, today’s decision is about more than politics or fears…it transcends religion or race or gender.  The only thing it really comes down to is the ability to hold the hand of the person you love as they take their dying breath and the government not being able to stop you.  Today, I’m proud to be an American.