#mamavation Monday – Letting go of the past

I’ve been struggling for what to write today… and the topic (which I will get to in a bit) was a seemingly innocuous question:

What would make you feel sexier?

but that could go in so many directions… and so instead, I sat here wondering where this post was going to go… and then I got a call from my mom.  Well, technically, it was from my son who is spending President’s day with her while I’m at work and apparently “cleaning out the attic” just jumped to the top of her list since she has able bodied boys at her disposal.  On said call, he relayed to me that she was up in the attic and wanted to know what I wanted her to do with my old dollhouse… doll crib… and a piece of history (well, my history anyway) that stood proud in our yard when I was in high school… OF COURSE I told her I’d be by later tonight and NOT to throw them away… gut reaction I guess…

The “piece of history”… perhaps needs some explanation since I can’t post a picture right now… but I WILL post one later tonight… or tomorrow… So, you’ve probably seen the yard signs (at least here in Texas) for the band or football or cheerleaders… the little signs that say “Hey – my kid is in ____” and if you haven’t, well, you must not be from ’round these parts… I was on the dance team…. We called it Drill Team… There were sequins and 2 tons of makeup, 4 gallons of Aqua Net and Yes… I could kick my hat off my head… back to the yard signs…  We decided that bigger really IS better and happened to have an amazing Team Dad who hand cut out these big “dancers” and then a group of moms painted them to “resemble” each of us and yes, in my parents front yard was a tall wooden cutout telling everyone that I was a member of the dance team… If memory serves, it is TALL… and no I don’t want to get rid of it… but WHAT THE HECK am I going to do with a 5″ wooden cutout?  For that matter, what am I going to do with an old dollhouse and babydoll crib?

Fact is, I was hanging on to these things because I always dreamed of having a daughter… Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my boys, but somewhere, someday, I guess I just pictured me with a little girl too.  And that ship has DEFINITELY sailed because I love that I’m past the diapers and 3am feeding phase.  My life is perfect as it is… so why am I hanging on to these things?

Then I started to over analyze {Shocking… I know} and began to wonder what else am I hanging on to because I think that they still fit into my life even though they don’t?  Old ideas… ways of thinking… negative thought patterns.  Yep… self-discovery is an amazing and sometimes painful thing.  and then I knew EXACTLY what my answer to the Mamavation prompt of the week was…

What would make you feel sexier?

Confidence.  Yep – it’s the sexiest thing I can wear.  How do I exhibit my confidence?  By shedding the baggage I’ve carried long enough… By embracing the beautiful things that fill my heart with joy… by being ok with the idea that not everyone who wants to be a part of my world deserves to be… by accepting who I am without making excuses…by speaking my truth and being ok with the idea that just because something is true for me, doesn’t make it true for anyone else.

Yep.  Confidence.  That is ALWAYS what makes me feel strong, powerful, and sexy as heck.  So now I know.  It’s ok to let go of things that we once held on to.  Things, people, ideas, and even places serve a purpose and when they don’t any longer, it’s time to let them go…with a joyful heart… because until we let go of the things that no longer serve us, we can’t embrace the new things, ideas, people, and places that will fill us with more peace, joy and confidence than we ever dreamed possible.