I’m gonna jump up on my soap box for a moment…. Shocking I know… But I’ve been noticing something that annoys me more and more lately.
Censorship.
I don’t mean by the government or the FCC… I mean self-censoring.
I’m noticing it in my friends, loved ones and children and I have to wonder why we do this.
And I believe it is because of fear.
Fear of rejection for the thoughts and feelings we have every right to have.
Fear of hurting those we love and care about.
Fear of disappointing the people who mean so much to us.
But what if….
What if the feelings you are having… NEED to be voiced?
What if the feelings deserve to be validated?
What if by sharing those feelings you could engage with another person on a deeper and more meaningful level?
I feel like I should add a disclaimer here… I’m not saying that you should be hurtful in sharing your truth. You should always strive to layer honesty with compassion but how much gets left unsaid…
How often do we miss an opportunity to ask for help when we fear judgement?
How often do we leave those we care about in the dark because we don’t tell them what’s really on our mind?
How much pain and frustration could be avoided if we shared the hurt someone caused… Or the yearnings we have?
How often do we feel alone because we fear that to tell our story would be to admit faults and flaws we aren’t ready to face?
I stepped out of my comfort zone a while back and then again on Sunday. I wrote down the words that I’ve shared with friends before but then hit submit to Listen to Your Mother. And then was invited to audition…
And it was scary as fuck to be honest. To speak those words aloud… to give them to others. And at the same time, it was empowering. To speak those words aloud… to give myself permission to feel the feelings…
And whether I’m invited to be part of the show itself or not doesn’t even matter at this point. Oh sure, I’m hopeful… and terrified… but I spoke my truth and that’s all anyone can do.
So for the love of all that is good and holy… we have got to stop censoring our truths… Stop doubting that what we feel is valid… stop deciding what others want to hear and instead trust them to decide for themselves. And yes… it means that those in our lives are worthy of the kind of trust that takes… but if you can’t trust them to respect where you are… well, that’s a whole ‘nother soap box entirely.
I support the level of sharing you choose. I support that what I am comfortable sharing I am comfortable with for many reasons. I’m not a mom blogger, I hardly ever talk about my kids or my parenting on Facebook. I’ve been told I should submit to LTYM but the stories that are real and raw and worth telling aren’t mine to tell. Well, they are, but they are also the story of children who are not old enough to consent to those stories. While you are a person I trust to choose a story that is about you, some of those stories, I don’t know, they sound like things I wouldn’t want my kids to hear later on YouTube for the eternity of the Internet. Or maybe I’m just rationalizing because I self-censor more than anyone else I’ve ever met and sometimes holding it in hurts, but I would rather hurt because I know I can take it and get through it rather than tell those truths for a few head-pats and back-pats while causing someone else with a different belief system pain they can’t handle. Maybe I just have a God complex and think I would cause more damage than I’m actually capable of. I’m really confused about the whole thing. Obviously. LOL
When I speak of sharing more and censoring less… I actually meant IRL sharing. I meant that when you miss someone, tell them. When someone pisses you off, tell them. Stop denying that your feelings are valid and shoving them down to appease someone else.
Now internet sharing… That’s different. My littles aren’t so little. I’m careful to share vague details and get approval for online sharing.
And yes… The piece I auditioned with for LTYM… Hugely about me.
OH! I … well damn. I totally read it wrong. You know why I read it wrong? I put it through my brain filter based on stuff I’m going through right now. Stupid filter. I knew you weren’t going around dropping your kids’ drawers on YouTube. I hope that wasn’t unclear.