I remember being so stinkin’ excited for Halloween as a kid – I mean who DOESN’T love candy?!?! Then when my littles were … well, little, I was excited all over again as we would dress them up and take them out for trick or treating goodness…

One of the things you realize after divorce is that you have to give up certain things… no longer do both parents get 100% of their child’s time and experiences and once again, like in Kindergarten, we are taught that we must share if we have any chance of playing well with others. Halloween was something I lost out on more often than not the way the calendar fell and honestly, I’ve been ok with this. After all, Ex1’s FAVORITE holiday is Halloween and I was happy he could share that with his boys.

Over the years, we’ve progressed from the store bought costumes…
Ghost Rider and Bat Man halloween costumes

to the homemade ones where I helped…

Halloween Scarecrow costume


to the ones where the boys figured out how to make their own…

happy vampire and zombie halloween costumes

Every year that Halloween DOES fall on my time, I’ve given the boys the option of where to spend it. I don’t want to be a stickler for it being “my time” if they would rather hang with dad… I’ve never wanted to play the tug of war games… invariably, they choose dad’s. I don’t really blame them – there’s not a lot of trick or treating to be done in our neck of the woods as we live in an older neighborhood… plus, their friends are at dad’s.

This year however, we encountered a split decision. Mini-me wanted to stick at dad’s but Giant opted to come with me. That was strange… beautiful, wonderful, fantastic… but strange. Both boys have told me that sometimes they pick “dad” because they know I’m not going to freak out or lay a guilt trip on them for their choice. Happy for the relationship we’ve developed… sad that the reverse isn’t true…

Regardless, every single day I’m reminded that my babies are growing up and becoming their own individual people. They are developing opinions and thoughts all their own instead of following whatever parent they are with… I love and hate this. Parenting was easier before they knew how to think for themselves…

The total upside is that Giant and I will have an entire evening with just the two of us… then tomorrow while he is at a debate tourney, mini-me and I will have some one on one time too.

Oh – and even though we won’t be trick or treating, make no mistake… there WILL be candy 🙂

Happy Halloween Y’all! What’s on y’all’s agenda tonight?


Axis of Ineptitude


  1. Gotta have candy! We’re heading out to trick-or-treat with our good friends. Phee has trick-or-treating at school and a party this afternoon. It’s going to be a fun, busy day!

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