The “Friends in our head”

**i make no promises that the post you are about to read is going to make any sense at all. It could very well just be incoherent ramblings**

I shared this on Facebook the other day and it sparked something that I have been processing with a few different friends lately.

We all have the inner dialog right? Our heart telling us one thing… our head telling us something different.

Isn’t that why most stories we read or watch on the big screen are battles between good and evil?

The “friends in our head” are often fueled by ego, pride, fear… anger, jealousy…lies, resentment, past hurts we can’t seem to let go of.

• The “friends in our head” are sometimes logical and make complete sense and are loud as can be which makes it harder to hear what’s really in our heart.
• The “friends in our head” will tell us that it is our fault and make it difficult to forgive… each other and ourselves.
• The “friends in our head” tell us that we should learn from our past mistakes because if it happened once it will happen again so we must learn to be more guarded and not to listen to our stupid heart…



• Sometimes, we aren’t sure what we are listening to because the “friends in our head” can be shady fucks. They can disguise themselves as our heart and tell us things that can cause harm to ourselves and to others.
• Sometimes the “friends in our head” tell us that the abusive friend or lover deserves our patience…
• Sometimes the “friends in our head” tell us that the ones who treat us with disrespect are treating us the way we deserve to be treated.
• Sometimes the “friends in our head” tell us to run away from something good because it could be painful down the road.
• Sometimes the “friends in our head” convince us to hurt another before they can hurt us.

Our heart though… that can be a different story altogether…when we actually listen.

Our heart is where true love resides. Not the Hollywood romance version but the truest, purest sense of the word. True love for others and more importantly true love for ourselves.

In the real world, it can be hard to distinguish between the two though… The “friends in our head” are bullies to the heart and won’t back down willingly. Our heart though is patient and will wait for us to finally decide to look inward. To get quiet and stop the ego from taking over our thoughts and fueling our insecurities with fear.

• Our heart is where we hear permission to move away from a bad situation that is toxic to us.
• Our heart is where we hear urgings to reach out to family and friends who love and adore us when we need our own cup re-filled.
• Our heart is reminding us that the good that lays before us is what we are worthy of and truly deserve.
• Our heart reminds us that people do the best they can with what they have and when you can accept that someone is giving all they are capable of, it’s harder to be angry than if you were to assume that they were acting out of malice.
• Our heart doesn’t absolve others of their wrongdoings that affect us, but gives us the courage to remove the negative from our world. To walk away.
• Our heart tells us when we should trust and when we should stop trusting.
• Our heart tells us when something is amiss… and will keep telling us that until we finally listen.

I’ve known that last one far too often. Ex#2 was a prime example. I knew something was wrong but I pushed those thoughts away because during that time, it was the “friends in my head” that told me I was just projecting past hurts on current situations… and I wanted to believe them.

On the share from above, a friend commented – “Why can’t both coexist” to which I responded, “Why would you want them to?”

I’ve never subscribed to the theory of heaven and hell in the conventional sense… I don’t believe that good people go up to a fantasy land in the clouds where everyone plays the harp and looks stunning in their white robes and wings as they flit about on roads paved in gold… or that bad people take a trip south to the land of eternal damnation with fires and suffering. Instead, I see both as metaphorical representations on the life we live right here on planet Earth…

When we choose love… when we choose to listen and act with our hearts from a pure place, unclouded by doubt and ego and anger, life isn’t perfect but it’s as close to heaven as I can imagine. When I act from my heart and a place of love, I’m filled with the peace of knowing I did what is best for me which makes it hard to have regrets or doubts or fear. The key is, we can choose. When we are listening with our hearts and telling the “friends in our heads” to STFU we are no longer victims of circumstance but in control of how we feel. When given the choice, I’m gonna choose love.

Today, I choose to listen with my heart more often than I listen to the “friends in my head”. That doesn’t mean I will always succeed. It can be scary… it can be hard… It’s knowing that people can break your heart when they reveal who they are instead of what you wish they could be…and choosing to open your heart up anyway. It’s knowing that the adventure you are about to embark on could end in failure… and choosing to step forward anyway. It’s knowing that things could go wrong and still trying anyway.

{remind me of that next time I forget, m’kay?}