What is a Friend – Top Ten Tuesday

Do you ever have those moments where something is coming at you from all directions?  Lately the topic of friendship has been that for me.  Both online and in real life.  Lately I’ve been really thinking of what it means to be a friend…

Can you be a friend to someone else even if they do not reciprocate?  Is that a waste of energy?
Can someone be your friend without your knowledge?
Which is more important- Quantity or Quality?
Do we ever grow too old to need friends?

Here’s what I’ve come up with… Friendship is a two way street and while you can be friendly, unless there is a mutual give and take, there is not a true friendship.  Quantity is a poor substitute for Quality.  And while there are those who are perfectly ok living life on an island (married one of those lol) I thrive on friendship – true friendship so no, I will never get too old to need friends.

Then I started wondering… how do you define a friend… and of course that’s why I’m here right?  to share my thoughts with you? A friend will:

  1. Be Open, Honest, REAL … even when the truth isn’t what we want to hear
  2. Be Supportive- maybe not of all activities, but of the person.
  3. Be Genuine – see #1 people – be real to my face AND behind my back
  4. Be Caring- Sincerely concerned for your well-being (Did I mention this is a 2 way street?)
  5. Be Present – available mentally and emotionally (again – 2 way street people)
  6. Be Enriching – won’t always agree but will offer solutions, alternatives and even play devil’s advocate
  7. Be Accepting – no one is perfect – accepting of flaws and all
  8. Be Fair – listen to all sides before rushing to judgement… or better yet, don’t judge (except we are human and this is part of our nature I’m afraid)
  9. Be Dependable – Ok, I know I’m perpetually late (sorry Jessica) but I hate when you count on someone and they flake.  Whether in person or not – be dependable.
Yes.  I left #10 blank.  I want to hear from YOU what qualities I left out?  How do you define your friends?  I am blessed with some AMAZING people I call friend…and a few that don’t realize it yet… but I’ll be here when they do.


  1. Sandra @creativebug says

    I think considerate should be up there! I have so many people in my life who feel they are close to me, yet they are so inconsiderate. A friend should be considerate. 🙂

  2. For me, a friend is someone you can always laugh with. The clothes you wore in high school, that god awful picture you took together in 1985. That stupid boy you mooned over and who broke your heart when you were 12. I am very lucky to have a BFF who encompasses not only this but all of the qualities you mentioned above.

  3. Shelley … You are the best friend a girl could ask for! My life would not be the same without you! xoxo.

  4. #9 Dependable is kind stinging me a bit. I have a friend that keeps asking me to go to Zumba. I makes plans with her, but even when I know I can’t commit and will probably cancel, I agree to go anyway. Ugh. That’s not cool at all. I’m going to fix that. As for #10. I would say “giving”. There have been times when myself or my friend(s) have needed in one way or another, whether it be time, resources, an ear to lend… etc. 🙂

  5. I think you hit on the most important ones. For me right now I am in a place where I feel like I am missing a really close friend. The one that fits into all the criteria above all at once. I have good friends but due to changes, as life tends to do, we aren’t able to be exactly what we were before (no bad blood type of things). But you know different places in life at different times. I still talk to them often and know that I could call them if I were in need but I crave one of those close, tell all, honest, giggly friendships that I have had in the past.

    Great post and topic!

  6. Call back and reciprocate the love. And when someone is supporting you, don’t get angry at them for being there.

    And I’m sorry I’m such a crappy friend lately, but I <3 you bunches 🙂

Speak Your Mind