Forgiveness is a funny thing.

We think that we are forgiving another for their actions or words that have caused us pain or discomfort.

We think that we are being benevolent saying the words and giving a gift to the other person.

We are wrong.
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior in another.

Forgiveness is not saying what you did or did not do is acceptable to me.

Forgiveness is saying I choose not to hold onto any negative emotions about the situation and instead choose to move forward in love and light.

The last few days I’ve spent being very introspective and forced myself to look at some situations through the clarity of reason instead of the cloudiness of emotions. Right wrong or otherwise, I found it easier to forgive other parties to situations that I was faced with, justifying actions in others but struggled to forgive myself for mistakes.

This I know to be true: people make the best decisions they can for where they are in that moment most of the time.

Why can I so easily see and accept that in others when it’s so much harder to accept in ourselves?

I feel compelled to write a letter of forgiveness to someone who believes that they have caused pain. 


Indulge me a moment won’t you?  And if by writing a letter to myself you see something you needed to hear, know that I am speaking to you too.


Dearest one –

Over the last few weeks you have been tormented by confusion and insecurity.  That is ok and I forgive you.

You’ve said things you regret and more so regret the things you didn’t say.  That is ok and I forgive you.

The choices you made that you are second guessing right now? They are neither right nor wrong in the grand scheme of life but absolutely right – in the moment, in the now, with where you are at.  It is ok and I forgive you.

If you do have a change of heart for the things said – promises or decisions made in the moment that you someday regret – I give you permission to change your mind. That too is ok and I forgive you.

You’ve made mistakes because you are human.  That is ok and I forgive you.

You’ve hurt another – even without meaning to – and while your remorse is real, know that it is ok and I forgive you.

You’ve acted out of fear instead of out of love.  That is ok and I forgive you.

It is ok to be sad or relieved. It is ok to feel both at the same time. It is ok to to feel disappointment. It is ok to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment.

I accept you for who you are and not who you pretend to be.  I accept you not in spite of your brokenness and flaws but because of them.

You are ok. You have always been ok. And I forgive you.


Having written and reread those words a few dozen times, an amazing thing happened. The weight on my chest was lifted and I remembered that the mistakes we make give us a beautiful opportunity to make different choices moving forward.

I can honestly say – honest with you and myself- that I’m in a good place again. Holding no grudges or ill will towards anyone… including and especially myself… is where I prefer to live.

That is the power of forgiveness.

And just in case you need a smile? Here ya go. Free of charge 🙂

If you can’t see the animation on that image you are missing out. Seriously Can’t Stop Laughing… Click here for the original image.



  1. I forgive you for making me wake my sleeping hubby by snorting when I saw that gif.

Speak Your Mind