Facing your demons

credit: kpishdadi

Have you ever been faced with a decisionthat you KNEW you needed to make… but something was holding you back and for the LIFE of you, you couldn’t figure out what the problem was?

Yeah… That just happened.

For starters, THIS is not exactly how the teenage me pictured my “adult” life.

not even close.

So, yesterday I was approached with a decision to make that, on paper, looks like an AMAZING opportunity.  It is the SMART move.  There is no logical way I can pass it up.  And yet, when it was presented to me, I burst into tears .

A lot of tears. (I’m a crier anyway but this was extreme even for me)

I started to feel like I had somehow failed life. That’s a heavy thought to wrap your mind around. So, last night when I got home, I went to my fall-back decision making process… the good old Benjamin Franklin Method. (If you aren’t familiar with this method, go check it out.  I’ll wait)

I started listing out all the pros and cons of said decision and realistically, the pros side outweighed the cons by so much that honestly I’d feel STUPID if I didn’t take this opportunity… So why was I STILL upset?

That’s when I realized I wasn’t actually tormented by the decision at hand… I was facing inner demons that I had forgotten about.  Parts of my past that I had tucked away … pretending that they didn’t exist with my fingers in my ear singing “la la la la la I can’t hear you”  so that I could pretend that all is unicorns and butterflies in my world… yeah… not so much.

The decision I’m faced with is one I’ve faced before.  twice in fact.  Both times, were dark and scary and quite frankly not exactly points in my life I want to revisit.  When faced with the SAME decision a third time, mentally I went back to those periods in my life and questioned whether or not THAT’S where I was all over again… and then I realized that no… not even close.

Once I wrapped my head around this, and really looked at the facts instead of what my pride and ego were telling me, it was like a fog had lifted.  I knew that this was a smart move… a good move… and will do FAR MORE to aid me in reaching my life goals than being stubborn ever will.

Truth is, this decision needed to be made… and probably should have been made a month or so ago.  Lucky for me, the universe is patient and will continue to give us opportunities to learn even when we try to ignore ALL the signs in our path…

Take a moment and look in your life… are you embracing all the universe is sharing or are you limiting your potential with the walls that the ego has put in place?