Choices… and my letter to the #Mamavation Moms

We are nearing the end of the latest Mamavation Mom campaign and I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme in my world… not just with some circumstances in my own life, but also in the lives of friends and people I just met… and so, this post practically wrote itself.  There was no way I could ignore this because it keeps popping up…

Choices.  We make them every day.  Some big… some small.  Some life altering and some that seem irrelevant.  I had a conversation with a friend last week sometime – my days are all getting curmudgeoned together and the when is clearly less important that the what.

In short, she is facing a choice but the conversation went down a path of I have to give up this and this and this and that and woe is me… and led me to believe that she was playing the victim card that yes, sometimes we all probably play or have played at some point in our lives.  (and if YOU are the friend I had said conversation with who shall ALWAYS remain nameless, I want you to know that I love you and am using this tale to make a point so please don’t be upset or offended)

At one point I had to say some things that she probably didn’t want to hear.  In short – it was that yes, you may have to give up A, B, and C if you want X.  (You can fill in the blanks with whatever makes sense to you) OR you can choose to put up with your current situation and keep A,B, & C but then have to find a way to make it work without losing your mind.

What’s my point?  For that, I shall refer back to an oldie but goodie movie quote:

“There are no victims in this classroom. You can either choose to leave here and not graduate, or you can stay and put up with me. It may not be a choice that you like, but you do have a choice.” – Dangerous Minds

Here’s the deal… When we begin to blame external factors or forces or people or circumstances for the things in our life that aren’t working, we are giving up our power… but we can reclaim that by putting our big girl panties on and taking responsibility for our actions and realizing that we ALWAYS have the power to change.  We of course can’t always control what cards we are dealt, but we CAN choose how to play the hand.  We can choose to look at any given situation and realize that hmmmm… maybe that choice isn’t working out so well… and then CHOOSE AGAIN.


So how does this relate to the Mamavation Moms?  Glad you asked.

I have been around long enough to see graduates from the boot camp who go on to continue their weight loss journey… and are wildly successful at it.  I see others who stumble and fall and go into the blame game.  It can happen whether you think it will or not.

Through the Mamavation Mom Bootcamp, you are given the tools to continue to live a healthy life if YOU CHOOSE to .  You are given the resources to access even after the campaign so you can always look back when you find yourself stumbling.  You can choose how the next chapter plays out and if you do stumble and trip and spiral… only YOU have the power to start again.  You have the ability to ask for help when you need it.

For those that aren’t in the Mamavation Bootcamp but may be struggling with your own life and decisions… maybe you are smack dab in the midst of a bad relationship or are struggling with your weight or are having financial difficulties or whatever keeps you up at night… YOU CAN CHOOSE AGAIN and that my friends is one of the most empowering realizations I’ve ever come to.

again… I never said that the choices would be ones you like… I never said it would be easy.  All I said was don’t give up your power by believing that you are a victim of your circumstances.  There is no magic wand… no fairy godmother… no knight in shining armor who is going to sweep in and rescue you.  BUT!!! You can be your own magic wand because every moment of every day you have the ability to make choices that lead you towards your goals.

The one thing I love most about the Mamavation community is that we don’t allow “Perfect People”… we are here to support you but no one can read your mind.  If your weight loss has stalled or you are struggling to find your way, reach out and let us take you by the hand.  Together we can lift you up and support you until you are ready again to stand on your own.

Keep using the tools you have.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

And, just because it’s funny… and to remind you that there are no White Knights gonna come rescue you, I will leave you with this:




  1. Well said!

  2. Oh man. I needed this today. I’m in a rut, and I can’t seem to do anything but blame all forces but myself. This was a nice, swift kick in the rear. Thank you.

  3. I think choices can be the hardest. You know which choice you NEED to make but we sometimes go for the choice we WANT rather than the one we need.

    • Choices are sometimes scary too because then we have to take responsibility for our own actions and can’t blame anyone else. scary… BUT empowering too 🙂

  4. Stopping to say I love you and I love this post 🙂

  5. So much of what you’ve said applies to my life, right now. Needed to hear it all, so thank you for writing it.

    & P.S. I saw that ecard post on pinterest after you pinned it – totally laughed out loud. 😉

  6. Shelley,

    I so <3 you, darlin! You cut to the chase and you make so much sense. Thanks for the kick in the tuckus! Speaking of the tuckus, I'm getting up, dusting it off, pulling up my big girl panties and getting back into the fight!

  7. For once in my life, I’m actually happy with the choices I’m making. I used to say that I can exercise but I can’t diet — I don’t have the will power. I hated feeling deprived of things. I just couldn’t do it. Now, I know that I will never be truly HEALTHY with that attitude so I’m making CONSCIOUS choices about each thing I eat, about the amount of time I’m not moving. I’m in my 6th week of boot camp and I’m LOVING it… it is actually what motivated me to change my eating habits and make better CHOICES for myself because I refuse to kill myself at boot camp every day (well, 4 days a week) and then go home and undo all of it — you’re right, everything is a choice and every choice has a result. If you want different results, you have to make different choices. We are only victims of ourselves.

    • what a lovely testimony 🙂 Having choices and taking responsibility for our actions is SOOO empowering – isn’t it?

  8. I agree completely on the victim card cop out. Sometimes, they are warranted but there is a point to where the pity party stops and you move forward. I have inadvertently allowed it to get the best of me in terms of stress eating and finally realized enough was enough.

    • the best part is that when we are READY, we will let it go and move forward. Sometimes we just aren’t quite ready. and that too is ok 🙂

  9. Great post Shelley!!!

  10. So very true!!

    • you are so amazing love. I think you are doing such a great job and are so inspiring 🙂 Keep it up 🙂

  11. Kathryn C. says

    Shelley, what an awesome post! Yes, choices are sometimes difficult to deal with but it is something that we all must face. I love what you said about putting our big girl panties on and taking responsibility for what we have done. I have someone in my life right now that really needs to take that advice and put it to good use. She, I truly think, wouldn’t know how to put her big girl panties on. I have been letting her drain me with her pity parties. This is something that I must make a choice about, and tell her no more. Thanks again, Shelley. Hope you have a wonderful week. Better late than never, right?

    • Not late… making an entrance 🙂 Sometimes, when people are throwing their pity parties, they need a friend to remind them how strong they are and that they CAN put on their big girl panties and deal 🙂 Thanks for the lovely comment love 🙂 Have a GREAT week!

  12. Choices… that reminds me of something I recently heard, “Everything always works out in the end. If things aren’t worked out, then it’s not the end.”

    Thank you for this, Shelley!

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