Baby steps everyday

Transformation – whether physical or emotional or whatever, takes time.  We live in a society where immediate gratification is becoming the norm.  We want it all and we want it NOW.

We text and use instant messaging, twitter and Facebook keep us connected, and all of the answers to any question you could ever have can be found through the Google… Gone are the days when we wait patiently by the mailbox for a letter from a friend or loved one that lives too far away to see in person, as now we are all connected.

I like that.  I love conversations with my friends and loved ones who are far away, with only the time zone math to keep us apart… and yet, we often feel like everything should come to us immediately.

A phrase we use often in Mamavation – an online anti-obesity campaign for women – is that nothing easy is worth having.

It’s true.

Recently, I’ve been given an a few compliments on the amount of discipline I have for working towards my goal of a healthier life.

I’m horrible about receiving compliments by the way.

The truth of the matter is it sucks.  There are days I do not want to go to the gym.  There are days when a salad doesn’t sound appetizing and all I want is a big pile of greasy hot wings with a beer… and during those moments, I have to remember the big picture.

The Big Picture is this:

I’ve spent my entire adult life taking care of others while putting myself on the back burner.  I’ve spent my entire adult life focusing on the needs of others and being a nurturer… a care giver… a doormat at times.  I’ve defined myself as a mother, a daughter, a friend, an employee, a boss, a student.

Earlier this year it was as if I woke up, yawned and stretched a bit… flipped on a light and realized that I left out the most important definition of myself I could have. I am ME.

Crazy and impulsive.  Loyal and honest to a fault.  Caring, yes, but not at the expense of my own needs.

And as I define myself with those words, I realized that there was one word that some use to describe me that I leave off.

Beautiful.

And in that moment I realized that what I want more than running the 5K with my boys… more than jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to face a long held fear… more than anything in the world… is for my outside to match my inside.  I want to look in the mirror and see the beautiful person that I know is inside me.

And as I contemplate skipping the gym or indulging in a plate of fried and spicy goodness, THAT is the image that gets me through the craving.  Every moment of every day is another baby step to the finish line.

And when I get to the finish line, every tear… every sacrifice… every moment will be worth it.

I’m halfway there.  I’ve come this far.  I can go the rest.  One baby step at a time.