Solitude

Solitude… Once upon a time, not that long ago, I hated to be alone. I worked very hard to arrange my schedule so that I stayed busy with friends and the kids and the folks so that I wasn’t.

But something happened a few years back that made me truly appreciate my own company… I started to really like myself. And while I still love to spend time with friends, I’m no longer terrified to spend an evening by myself. In fact, I relish in the things that I just don’t make time for when there are others in my presence…

Earlier this week I had an impromptu evening of solitude. Plans fell through and I found myself deciding between making new plans or embracing the first of many nights of solitude.

It had been a while since I had this type of dilemma so I seized the opportunity. What does a night of solitude look like in my world?

A bubble bath

Grabbed the bottle of bubbles I keep stashed in the back of the linen closet, turned the water up as hot as I could stand it and filled up the tub. Lit a few candles and grabbed my latest book…. The Fault in Our Stars. And read it cover to cover… Talk about hitting you smack dab in the feels… yes, I know there’s a movie coming out. No that’s not why I picked it up. A few weeks back my friend Ali, across the pond, who does amazing nail art, wrote about it during our Play in May adventures and I felt compelled to read it. Didn’t even know at the time that it was going to be a movie… {yes, sometimes I am living under a rock}but her post was raw and real and shared snippets and I just knew there would be a time when I wanted to feel all the feels and that this would be a perfect book to evoke them.

Up next, dinner… Now, I love cooking for my family… but sadly my boys love when I make roasted veggies covered in parmesan as much as I do… which means they usually take the lion’s share and I miss out. This particular evening, I made an entire cookie sheet of roasted veg and didn’t have to share… with a glass {bottle} of wine… and ice cream for dessert. Shut up – I ate my veggies first. That deserves ice cream.

Now I’m at a cross road. I love to crawl into bed with a good book, but like I said, the house was quiet. Too quiet. Instead, I ventured out to the patio to continue reading… there’s something magical about sitting outside and listening to the sound of frogs (Sorry Evin… I know you aren’t a fan) in the pond. Lucky for me there was a bit of a breeze as I enjoyed the peace and quiet. Not the near silence of an empty house with all the weird house noises, but the quiet of living in the almost-country. Where you can hear the chickens in the yard and the frogs and crickets… Country quiet.

I could have elected to watch any number of the chick flicks on my Guilty Pleasures list, but sitting and reading seemed so decadent and peaceful that I couldn’t pass it up.

I went to bed way too late and suffered a book hangover the next day but I didn’t care even a little bit.

This weekend is more planned solitude and I have already earmarked much of it as writing time. I have a few projects I’m working on and a weekend of uninterrupted writing seems heavenly.

As moms, our lives tend to revolve around satisfying the needs of others. That’s ok too and I love that my babies still need me. But sometimes, you just have to stop for a second and take care of you.

What would you do with a few moments of solitude?

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