You’re Pretty…

I’m good at a lot of different things.  I mean, I’m no prodigy or anything but I have one of those brains where if I’m given a set of instructions, I can generally figure shit out.

Some of my talents might include making amazingly delicious cookies…

Or Fixing my truck (before I traded him in for Belle)

Or Hooking for a cause…

Hookers with Heart

I’m good at pulling my bestie out of a funk (at least for a few seconds)

And reciting most of Pitch Perfect…

You know what I’m NOT good at?

Receiving compliments…

Giving?  I think I’m fairly decent at it but receiving?  Decidedly less so.

But lately…. Lately I’ve discovered that while some compliments still make me nervous and unsure… Some compliments touch me in ways that I can’t even begin to express.

Compliment me on my looks I’m going to shrug it off.  Why?  It’s not that I don’t believe it because some days, I like what I see in the mirror… Some days I don’t but I’m gonna go ahead and bet that the grizzly bear demeanor on those days would prevent compliments anyway.  No, I don’t know what to say or how to respond because I didn’t so anything to create this.  I was born this way… and most days?  Much to the chagrin of my mother who wouldn’t run to the local corner store without her false eyelashes in her youth, I just don’t care enough to put forth a lot of effort on my appearance… Most days I show up for work fresh face straight from the shower, hair pulled into a scrunchie and whatever happened to be clean and within reach.  A fact that has not gone unnoticed by my co-workers…

Sidebar – I had a date Monday – a co-worker walked to my office and the conversation went a little something like this:

Coworker  “So…big date tonight?”

Me “why do you ask?”

Coworker “how long have we worked together? Knowing that you don’t care…like ever… And seeing that you look nice… On a Monday… I just put 2 & 2 together”

I’m not sure whether to be insulted or flattered.

But back to the point… Complimenting me on something that I had nothing to do with… that would be like thanking me for the end of World War II.  I agree it’s a good thing but I had nothing to do with this.

I used to think I felt that way about all compliments and honestly was a bit confused by this.  I’m not exactly what you might call… humble.  Or modest.  Or well, you get the idea.  So why wouldn’t I want compliments?

Evin and I share Daily Odd Compliments… I like those.  A lot.  But that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about sincerity.

I’m talking about being recognized for something I have control over… choices I make…

Compliment me on my cooking… or crochet… or writing? I feel more “worthy” of the praise because I am self taught in so many things.

Compliment me on my good mom moments? I beam. I make choices every day about my role as mom and some of those… the ones I’m proud of… it’s just nice to have some recognition.

Recognize a characteristic I exhibit, you are likely to see more of that…

It is in that moment that I feel truly seen.  And worthy.

Take care in your compliments of others.  Telling someone they are awesome is nice and all but it feels hollow.  Tell someone WHY they are awesome or what awesome thing they did or what they did to make you feel awesome?  That’s worth the effort.  Someone kinda awesome helped me to see that…

Unrelated, I still need to pick up a thesaurus.

And it’s still ok to compliment me if I’m pretty… but only if you mean it.





  1. You just put into words why I can’t accept a compliment and I didn’t even realize WHY until I read this! My one thing I still have problems with is work, and it always BLOWS me away when someone tells me how awesome, great or fabulous my products are, because to me its easy and I don’t think it’s that difficult, but at the same time I’ve never used anything else so I don’t know LOL But this, this makes sense in ways I could never do it so thank you for sharing this!

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