Like the hummingbird… a path to finding ME

Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days, seeing beauty in everything.
– Amethyst Wyldfyre

I saw that quote and for a moment I sat in the silence just pondering the power behind those words.

“sipping nectar from every flower”

Am I?  Am I REALLY?  Or am I so busy with the things, people, places I deem of importance that I forget to taste the joy of the world around me?

“I fly joyfully through my days”

hmmm… fly joyfully or trudge through life weighted down by the shoulda woulda couldas of life…

“Seeing beauty in everything”

I make an attempt to see the beauty around me when and where I can…. when I’m not preoccupied by the ugliness that fear, doubt and negativity can cloak me in.

And… if I do that – hide under the cloak of negativity – what lessons am I teaching my children?  What example am I truly setting?

This month, I have been blessed with more one on one time with the kids as my normal “shared custody” arrangement has been put on hold.  The Ex is travelling and that means I get to fill my days and nights with the giggles and frustrations that my boys are infamous for.  The laughter, the “potty humor,” the view of the world from the eyes of a child, the pouting, the wonder… I’m breathing deeply as I take it all in and am trying to treasure each moment as they come.  I’ve been “forced” to slow down and listen to what’s really important… the “to-do” list doesn’t matter after all, when the kids are bored/tired/hungry and act out because they still don’t know how to express their feelings.

And when the house is quiet… and the dishes have been done… the laundry is in process… the toys put away… that is my time to be still and hear what I’m slated to hear.

Even over the last week, it’s been a time of self-discovery as I learn to listen to my kids with non-judgemental ears – giving them the freedom to explore their own path…and then using those same ears to discover MY own path without placing unnecessary restrictions on what I should feel… what I should think… what I should be.

It’s been freeing.  and frustrating… as I attempt to re-define myself by my own rules. I’ve uncovered beliefs about myself that no longer “fit” or ring true… when I have a piece of clothing that no longer fits, it’s easy to toss it in the “recycle” bag and cart it off to goodwill… but beliefs and feelings?  That’s proven more difficult.

So, today – if only for a split second, I vow to be – “Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days, seeing beauty in everything.”


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