About Birthdays

It’s not MY birthday – but it is The Big Guy’s birthday and that is a day to celebrate.  It wasn’t until we met that I truly understood what was missing from all of the failed relationships of days gone by – connection. 

Connection

I don’t mean the physical connection.  That is fleeting.  It’s the whole package.  Like the way we can both just “be” in the house and there is a warmth.  Or the way he’ll curl up in my lap while we are watching TV.  Or the way he’ll pop into my office in the middle of the day – not because he needs anything but just so we share the same air for a few minutes.

The connection when we are at odds with one another (hey – we’re human) but still know that we’re going to get through whatever rough patch we are in.

It’s the utter knowing that I choose him and he chooses me day by day and moment by moment.  Choosing is powerful.  We aren’t together because we don’t have a choice – we CHOOSE to spend this life with one another.

Shared vision

There’s also the connection of a shared vision as we work towards a future.  We may not always know what it will look like, but we spend time talking about our goals and values.

At the same time, there’s the connection from having very different passions and hobbies that are mutually supported even if not mutually enjoyed.  I mean, I don’t foresee him sitting down to make a quilt, and I’m not about to join him at the poker table, but sharing our differences is part of the connection.

Missing Link

As I consider the advice I wish I had listened to a bajillion years ago (since I’m not that much younger) and the advice I hope my offspring will hear, find the person who fits into your curves and edges.  Ask yourself not just what you bring to the relationship but what you get out of it.  Don’t settle for less and love fiercely.  When you find someone where the connection is real and deep, where they are as connected to you as you are to them, you’ll know that you found someone worthy of all that you have to offer.  And to The Big Guy, if you read this, you are loved without abandon, without hesitation and as completely as you deserve.  I’m so glad I get to choose you over and over again.

Happy Birthday Baby.