Today wouldn’t be the first time I spoke of darkness and light… At least as it relates to me and my journey to finding myself… I firmly believe that no one can appreciate light as much as someone who has been consumed by darkness.
It’s like the weather we had last week. Drizzly, grey, cold days… so when the sun finally came out, it was magical. That’s why I could never live in Alaska… To many days without the sun to greet me… but I digress.
I never really understood the concept of darkness and light in others until I was… well, a few years ago. I presumed that everyone was light and happy and kind and wonderful. Yes I was naive. (yes, I still am in so very many respects.) I didn’t know just how much darkness there really was… until it was thrust in my face during a bitter and nasty divorce.
Even then I didn’t want to see that people could exist with so much darkness… believing, because I wanted to, that the ex was the only one in the world so dark.
Not seeing my own inner darkness or the darkness of others.
Not wanting to see that everything I believed to be true once upon a time could be wrong.
I struggled to reconcile the idea that the darkness doesn’t make us evil or bad or negative… in fact, it can be kind of the opposite… In many, the darkness highlights the light we ALSO have within us.
The struggles and flaws and imperfections make us who we are and there is beauty in that too.
and then… just when I think I’ve got this whole darkness and light thing figured out… I’m having to help the Giant to reconcile these same concepts. Seeing good in his father… understanding heartbreak from a different perspective… seeing the light within instead of only darkness.
Maybe that’s what the last few years have been for… to prepare me for the transition from student to teacher.