It is a feeling of liberation mixed with sadness as I swept the last dead cricket out of my storage unit… a 10×30 space once filled to the brink with things I loved is now empty. Four years I’ve been hanging on to that storage unit and the things left inside. Four years that I’ve been holding on to “someday I’m going to need these again.”
I’m glad that so many of those things went to people who needed them- most of the furniture given away for free, books and movies resold at half price books and donated to inside books, kitchen things, decorations, bobbles and bits hauled off to goodwill where maybe someone new will find a treasure that they need.
It’s interesting how I hang on to things that no longer serve a purpose in my life but were reminders of a life I was never supposed to have. I have a completely different life than the one I thought I’d have and am thankful for it. It is a life filled with love and support instead of things I’m hanging onto out of fear or anticipation.
Don’t get me wrong- I didn’t get rid of everything… I kept the things that matter most- the prom dresses from my freshman and junior year proms, books I reread when I have the chance, the ballroom dance trophy from when I was a little girl. We found new spaces in the house for the loveseat I adored while the marching couch found a new family to love it. The mirror and picture I got from my grandmother made their way into my room along with the vanity handed down to me from my great aunt Aileen who passed away not that long ago. Up in the attic went my Georgette yard sign and boxes of high school treasures I’m not ready to part with.
It’s easier to stay in the moment when you are only surrounded by the things that hold sentimental value or everyday uses. No longer holding on to things that represented the “someday” plans that I no longer have. In their place are new someday plans that are bigger and better than anything I could have imagined four years ago.